The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
