hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
