I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
