Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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