She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
