worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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