Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Need sex. Gaining weight.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
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