She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
