Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
