I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
