She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
