think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
