How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
There r osticjed everywhere
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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