Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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