i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She even gives head with a lisp.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
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