i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
