butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
love makes seman taste better
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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