Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
