don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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