why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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