it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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