I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
