that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
two words: eviction party
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
