Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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