Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
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