Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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