Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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