If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
