those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize