just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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