dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
