i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize