the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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