If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
