he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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