dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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