I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
