but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
