awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
