I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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