It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
