Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize