Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
3pm strippers are depressing
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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