i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
