apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize