Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
