Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
