Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
