do herpes really smell.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize