if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
