just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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