Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
This house was built for laser tag.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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