yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
