The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
