She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
