Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
