He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
