This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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