i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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