its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
