If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
