Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize