Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
