come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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